I know it has been a while since my last post. Please believe me when I say it wasnt intentional. Okay. Wait. Maybe just a little intentional, but today I really felt drawn to write. I mean I woke up with my fingers already in type position. Better yet, have you ever seen someone "shout" in church? (If you havent; "shouting" is a form of church dancing where your feet and arms move at very fast rates usually in respect to giving praise to God. Google it.)
Anyway, yesterday, Sunday, I had something very interesting, motivating, and compelling happen to me. See, this business of chasing your dreams is not for the weak or timid (only make moves if your hearts in it...Sorry, I couldnt resist. I love Biggie!) There are days that you are worn, nights where you feel defeated, and all the little moments in between where you can really doubt yourself. I try to keep myself from traveling any of those dark, desolate, roads of negative self-talk. I focus on everything positive that I know can come out of acting for me. I try to focus on how it makes me feel: the satisfaction of doing what I love, the visible growth in my talent, the goals that I set for myself daily, the process of doing better than I did the show/play/film/character before...all these things help me to "stay in the moment". However I also look for confirmation that I am on the right path, and yesterday I got just that.
Yesterday I was a guest on a web show where we discussed issues that plague women's equality (It is womens history month in case you didnt know *major side eye*). The panel of women I was with happened to be small but very intelligent and opinionated. I walked away from that experience discovering how important it is (especially in the entertainment business) to love yourself! I mean really love who you are in the process of being outside of your comfort zone and chasing your dreams. There are so many negative things that can work against you. The last thing I need is me working against me. I have to root for myself in all aspects. People will build you up to tear you down. I have to realize that everything that has happened before this moment: every good, bad, happy, and sad time has led to this spectacular process of being the actor I want to be and right now I am doing just that! I cant go forward trying to do something I never done if I am carrying weight from the past. How can I take constructive criticism from anyone else if I cant move past criticizing myself? I have to OWN MY OWN SHIT! I cant CHANGE THE PAST. I can take those moments and learn from them. Use those same moments to create characters that people can love or hate. Not let anyone use them to drag me back (because when people see you WALKING IN YOUR LIGHT they love to remind you of HOW YOU USED TO BE!) However, if I own my own mess...know that they are my mistakes, my lessons, my flaws...then I have completed the battle of being bound to my past. See, part of the reason I had a problem accepting that my future is really so bright is because my past has some of the darkest moments ever. Learning and accepting that was my AHA MOMENT and in that moment I have never felt so free!
I feel like I AM READY to take on the world. I AM READY to put in the hardwork that comes with doing something that has never been done in my family before. I AM READY to take all the feedback, experience the setbacks, and maneuver my COMEBACK. I AM READY to inspire, motivate, and bless others. I AM READY TO WIN! I AM READY because I AM AN ACTOR and ACTING IS MY BUSINESS! *insert praise shout here*
Facebook: Actress Alesia R. Roy
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